School of Movement Medicine - Mindfulness in Motion
 

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Issue: April 2010
Return of the Light Manchester

By Kerri Cripps

During the tree of life meditation, whilst we were dancing with the new buds just beginning to unfurl, I found myself on a high diving board looking down into a deep lake. I knew I was going to dive into it to find something important and bring it back.

 

I took a deep breath and dived right down to the bottom and began feeling my way along searching for something in the darkness. I felt a weight around my ankle and knew I had found what I was looking for, so I began swimming back up to the surface, lungs bursting as I made my way back to the warmth and light and air.

 

Back on the earth I found I had a big key-ring around my ankle and on it were a silver key and a flower of the palest most delicate pink. I held the ring to my heart thinking 'I have the key now' and it melted into me. When I looked down I saw a pale pink and green shape just under the surface of the water. Bending down for a closer look I discovered it was 'my drowned daughter' wearing a pink and green dress. Slowly and gently I gathered her in my arms, lifted her out of the water and held her close.  I knew it was time to return her to the earth, so I laid her at the foot of a small silver birch tree. Its shimmering leaves fluttered gently in the breeze, as I curled her pale limbs around its trunk. I covered her body first with a very pale pink cloth and then with a green one which also very pale. Briefly I wondered if I should cover her with earth, but knew immediately that what she needed was water. I thought of sprinkling water from the lake over her, but that wasn't quite right either. I felt at a loss, felt my loss of her and began to water her with my tears. Gradually she dissolved back into the earth and as she dissolved, so did I. Almost immediately I again felt myself pushing upwards towards warmth and light and air - roots in the earth, trunk pushing upwards, branches weaving up and back down again towards the earth, almost brushing the surface. I was reborn as a small weeping pussy willow tree – the ones with the merest hint of pale pink on their catkins.

 

As the music began to fade I opened my eyes and saw that I was in beautiful garden full of the most amazing trees all dancing like me. I noticed one tree in particular whose picture of a pale pink heart on a pale green background was next to my pale pink and green hearts on the altar. She too was weeping and I thought ‘in a moment you will look up and see me’. When she did, we smiled tree to tree, pale pink heart to pale pink heart, delicate new and tender.

 

All through this experience - I want to call it a vision but it was multi-sensory - I was also dancing as the tree of life with my awareness in my roots and trunk and branches. Several times I was tempted to move with the 'vision' to enter into it and become it, but when I began to it felt wrong somehow, incongruent or incoherent and I went back to being the witnessing tree of life. Afterwards Ya'Acov spoke of our need, in our largely disembodied culture, for embodied journeying and I understood that in order to be able to bring this medicine dream back part of me needed to stay out of it, strongly rooted in my feet in the earth so that I had somewhere to bring it back to, to ground it. And unusually for me it has stayed with me very clearly, strong and memorable.

 

I don’t have an actual daughter, drowned or otherwise, and at this time I have very little sense of what this experience maps/means/foretells. I do know that it isn't only for me, so here it is as an offering back to my community, a pebble dropped gently into the pool of community to ripple and resonate and remind us of our interconnections.

With much love and gratitude

Kx

 

kerri@waking-up.com 

 

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The views expressed here do not necessarily represent the views of the School of Movement Medicine. Roland Wilkinson, Nappers Crossing, Staverton, Devon TQ9 6PD, UK Tel & Fax +44 (0)1803 762255 http://www. schoolofmovementmedicine.com