School of Movement Medicine - Mindfulness in Motion
 

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Issue: October 2009
Shining in the dark with a bit more charge…

By Ben Yeger

Having  completed the  Phoenix retreat in March 09 and  on returning home to a busy work/life schedule I wanted to acknowledge the value of the work we undertook and  I continued to do in relation to those valiant soldiers so aptly named our understudies.  I also thank Ya’Acov and Susannah for being so brave and generous in sharing this evolving work with conviction, creativity and ever lasting wonder and simple humility.

Within only two days after my return from the retreat in the beautiful Orval, the power of intention, incantation and gratitude work were revealed to me once more...

 

So here’s the tale-

Monday- a tricky first day back on the front line, working with challenging young people within even more challenging institutions, a prep for the challenges to come…

 

Tuesday- Early morning drive to the prison and as is my regular ritual I say my gratitude’s during the last ten minutes of my drive, as I seek to receive a loving and supportive coat of armor before I walk into the prison. As I walk in, my metaphorical armor shining and my heart beaming from the week that had just been, I remembered a management issue that was looming and I knew that at some point it would resurface and I was slightly dreading the understudies of- 'I'm always getting into trouble with authority- therefore I must be bad’ or’ No one can understand me because they don't appreciate and like me and they are stupid/shit/ignorant/wrong (delete as appropriate) So, in the midst of my preparations to work with two young people who had committed very serious and in one case violent crimes, I receive the dreaded phone call inviting me to an urgent meeting. I felt more scared of the meeting than the work with the young people.

 

And then I remembered the work we had just done- I remembered that I have met, danced with, identified the original event of and called in fire for courage and water for healing and have called back in the light of my original soul essence of these understudies and their unique gifts and hard work over the years and I had thanked them, metaphorically bowed to them, had a quick wink and smile and created a strong circle around me and took a deep breath. Then I entered the meeting.

 

On many levels the meeting was very challenging and those trusted understudies were present, reminding me that I could call on them” just in case” and yet I kept breathing, focusing on the moment, on my body, in space and in relation, I focused on my ability to stay true to my heart and I found myself coming away with my integrity in tact at the expense of no other being. I found myself free of shame or fear of self-destruction. I gave where I thought appropriate and maintained my position over some points, I heard and acknowledged my two managers and offered apologies where I felt they were needed. Throughout I felt soft, allowed myself to feel vulnerable without over exposing myself too much- It felt new and I knew it was related to the power of the work we had done.

 

After the meeting and some nourishing lunch I came to work with another Young person who I had been working with for some months and after release he virtually chose to come back because his experience of freedom was to scary. This young man had been very disassociated from his physical and emotional maps and today, I had an instinct that he was ready to explore through movement. I drummed, he moved. At first barely able to move his head or any other body part, as if bound by his past, present and lack of vision for any sort of future - I felt a surge of courage in me and also somewhere in him- I invited him to explore further and he did- He started to explore more, opening his eyes, communicating with his body and later with words I hadn't heard him use before. It felt so very gratifying and it felt like the universe was offering up a gift for the trust in the work, in the possibility of change of the possibility that there is virtue in staying soft and clear in moments of difficult communication- it felt great!!

 

‘Never underestimate the power of the Universe’

(Thank you Marold and your t-shirt)

 

In my work with highly damaged young individuals within very complex and often just as dysfunctional systems the pull towards loosing faith in the possibility for movement in them and in us who try to reach/support and engage with them is always there. The gateway for change and hope for reclaiming lost aspects of our selves no matter how long they have been banished (and still practicing) to soul school, offered by the Phoenix process fills me with real hope.

 

 

I don’t know how I can use the full process as a ritual in my everyday life (yet) and I feel that the Phoenix Process has worked for me- is very strong in me and I look forward to it being a true teacher in my every day life through my conscious knowledge of the possibility for choosing to evolve, and even (dare I say it) change.

My incantation in relation to the above is:

I have the courage to share my thoughts and feelings so that I can shine my light in the darkest, darkest of places

 

May it be so!!

With Love, gratitude and real hope for all my relations

 

Ben, Shine in the dark


The early payment discount cut-off date for the Phoenix Retreat is November 14th.   The workshop is held at the EarthSpirit Centre 5 – 13th March.  Details of the workshop can be found at http://schoolofmovementmedicine.com/phoenix-retreat.php and application forms are available on the website or from Roland roland@rwevents.co.uk.  The pre-requisites are the Initiation workshop or an Ongoing Group.


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The views expressed here do not necessarily represent the views of the School of Movement Medicine. Roland Wilkinson, Nappers Crossing, Staverton, Devon TQ9 6PD, UK Tel & Fax +44 (0)1803 762255 http://www. schoolofmovementmedicine.com