School of Movement Medicine - Mindfulness in Motion
 

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Issue: June 2009
My biggest Fear … Never to Dance Again

By Gert Daniels

I was locked up in a psychiatric institution for half a year, my darkest nightmare...

And at the same time i was locked up in a wheelchair for 2 months…

I broke my foot (caused by to much medication) and had a plaster cast round my leg…

My greatest fear : not to be able to dance anymore…

3 years later (May 2009) i found myself sitting in this circle of men at the end of the tribal gathering for men with Ya’Acov in Orval, Belgium. I was given (as everybody else) one minute to say what our heart was feeling after completing these 5 magical days. How, for God’s sake, do you compress a life-time story in just one minute??? I was feeling very anxious, like my fellow brothers, everybody was a bit nervous to speak. During the workshop we had lot’s of ‘one minutes’ in which we could say whatever came up, or just a single word of how we felt, or just keep our silence… it was all ok. And i liked it very much those short minutes. Very compact, no bla-bla-bla...  But now it was different : it was my LAST ‘one minute’. And moreover, it was possible that most of these man i would never see again. Will i let this ‘one minute’ pass me by or will i grab the opportunity and let my heart say the right words at the right time? There were a million things on my mind, i  had so much to say to my friends in the circle… It would never fit in this ‘one minute’…

So I gave my heart the freedom to speak out these words: ‘Dear brothers, I didn’t miss the women on the dance floor!’ (everybody laughed…) ‘Moreover, I really enjoyed dancing with you all fantastic guys. This is one of the highlights of my life. And at the same time I also was remembering the worst nightmare off my life. 3 years ago, I was locked up in a psychiatric institution (the time before I had some attacks of psychosis for mostly one week, and it got worse and worse) which was just horrible. And at the same time I broke my foot and had to spend 2 months in a wheelchair. So I found myself locked up double. I was afraid I would never dance again and I was afraid I would never be mentally healthy again… At that time, I couldn’t dream of better times coming ahead, and most certainly not sitting here now with you, brothers. So I am very grateful. And I am proud.’ And I looked my brothers in the eyes and some tears tumbled down on my cheeks, I was very touched and emotional. Then I spoke a last sentence : ‘I am Gert, I am a hunter, and I am Wild at Heart!’ …

It was definitely the most beautiful and powerful experience of my life…

The dance (5 rhythms and movement medicine) did help me a lot to heal!!! While I stayed in this psychic institution I got permission (after months of solitude) to spend a weekend with my mothers. Although I was not allowed to go out or dance, I went to a 5 rhythms party on Saturday evening and was thrilled to meet all my friends (my dancing family) again. I also would be able to test if my foot was fully  cured . It was one of the most joyous moments of my life… I was so happy to dance again… And after some months I wanted to participate again in 5 rhythms or movement medicine workshops… Each time it gave me strength, joy, power, self-confidence and love of my friends in the dance… And soon I was totally healthy again, and even more : a stronger man than ever…

But this Wild at Heart  workshop with Ya’Acov  in the beautiful environment in Orval, was the cherry on the cake of my recovery… Every man should at least ones in his lifetime have this profound experience (thank you André and Wouter to recommend this workshop to me)… I really admire the way Ya’Acov teaches… his wise words, his serenity, his tender-power… and I hope he will create soon his follow up workshop as promised : Wild at Heart, part 2…

And to all my brothers of Wild at Heart : you are really great!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

With Love,

Gert Daniels  gertdaniels@msn.com

Leuven, Belgium

 

 

 

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The views expressed here do not necessarily represent the views of the School of Movement Medicine. Roland Wilkinson, Nappers Crossing, Staverton, Devon TQ9 6PD, UK Tel & Fax +44 (0)1803 762255 http://www. schoolofmovementmedicine.com