School of Movement Medicine - Mindfulness in Motion

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Issue: January 2009
Everything is a potential mirror

by Pål Christian Buntz

I am so lucky to be part of the ritual circle. It helps me to accept who I am, my strength, weaknesses and my potential. I want to share with you a story from our first module and the integration of that.

We were working with the Element of Earth at the first ritual module. What a blessing to feel my roots and connect deeply to Mother Earth. Listening, be still and then move with a direction.

Unfortunatly, I had booked my flight a little bit to early (to save some money),  so I couldn’t attend the last integration part of the workshop. I felt suddenly stressed, incomplete and disconnencted from the group after leaving early. Not able to say really goodbye to everyone. I tried to push this feeling aside and act as everything was ok. Until I was on my way home, realizing that I had forgot my car keys and my Viking figure at the alter. I reached home after some complication and help from a friend. 

Why did I forget these things and what could I learn from this? The first thing I want to do was to be responsible in my communication. Be honest and open to the group about what happened, and share my embarrassment with them.

I continued to dance with Mother Earth the next days and weeks, and suddenly I could see a deeper pattern. I have had a life pattern to not finish things completely. I see that I am often on my way to the next job or project, next relationship or next person before I have really completed what I am doing, because of lack of grounding and connection to Mother Earth.

Why do I do this and what am I afraid of? I am afraid of my own brutality, wild man, my own strength, power, sexuality, and being a responsible human being. I see that it is easier for me to fly up into higher consciousness and move on, rather then stay connected to the Earth. I have sometimes hoped that spirituality should take me away from this fact. Until it became clear that escaping this force is much harder than facing it, accepting it and embracing it. I unconsciously forgot my Viking at the workshop, because I didn’t really want to embrace my masculinity and being a responsible citizen. 

Seeing this pattern I decided to slow down. I chose to complete our film from Tibet, find an international distributor and try to get our documentary on different film festivals before thinking about the next project. I met the fear of being still and the fear of economic insecurity. Luckily enough I survived that fear too….and it felt good to really do what I could to get international attention for our Tibetan film.

After a couple of months my mensgroup had decided to be together for a weekend at our summerhouse. It was the weekend of Samhain, and I took the chance to hold my first ritual. The ritual went very well and the men and I were happy with it. At the same time I want to admit that I had some emotional stress being the organizer for the ritual and also responsible for all the practical things. When we left for the weekend I was tired and a friend didn’t say really goodbye. I felt a little bit hurt of his lack of gratitude. When he then called a little bit later asking us to drive back and collect one of his belongings I became angry. “No, it is your fault and I am too tired to drive back to get it”, I told him.

Seeing this in perspective – I can see that this is the mirror of what took place with me at the ritual workshop. Is it strange that I became upset when my friend called me? It was a mirror of myself and for the things that I am not willing to take responsibility for. Wow! What an insight! What if all the things I become angry or frustrated at are things that I haven’t embraced in my own being? How would my life be if I started to take responsibility for my own projections? To stop and feel my own pain. Suddenly, I see that the whole world is just a reflection of myself. Not as an esoteric revelation, but from my own practical life. I now see the truth in what I have read many times. I really start to understand the gift of slowing down and become conscious and responsible for my life. I am getting humble and will from now on go with even more gentle step on Mother Earth. Taking responsibility for what I am creating in my life.

I will also do my 21 gratitude’s as often as I can and especially in times of anger and frustration. I am happy that I can see this and that I can use some time to integrate the teaching from the second ritual workshop. I thank and bow to my car keys, the Viking, the healing medicine of the Movement Medicine, Ya’Acov, my support group and to the whole ritual circle. I am looking forward to the teaching and revelations in the next weeks and months to come.

Pål Christian Buntz

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The views expressed here do not necessarily represent the views of the School of Movement Medicine. Roland Wilkinson, Nappers Crossing, Staverton, Devon TQ9 6PD, UK Tel & Fax +44 (0)1803 762255 http://www.